


The dangerous disadvantage of love

by Katty12



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-28 12:19:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13903884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katty12/pseuds/Katty12
Summary: Mary and John finally decide to get married! Sherlock has just one regret......... and so does John





	1. Chapter 1

“Sherlock! I’ve got some amazing news!” Panting from his run up the stairs to the flat, John stands in the doorway beaming out at everything. Sherlock pauses for a second from playing the violin, then continues playing at the windowsill, thinking What could possibly be that important? Probably a pay raise. “ I’m getting married,” John says simply, a light in Johns eye that hadn’t been there for a long time after the fall, even though Sherlock was back. The string on Sherlock's violin snaps, but he makes no effort to move at all, he just stands there, feeling as though time has stopped.  
“Sherlock?” John asks cautiously, part of his grin disappearing. “What?-oh right. Congratulations!” beaming a bit too brightly, and finally turning to face John. “Well, what do you think?” “ Of what” mumbles Sherlock, who is now packing up his violin rather quickly, refusing to look him in the eye. “ Me marrying Mary!” looking a bit worried at the way that Sherlock is just banging things together. “Wonderful! I have to go to bed now, good night.” And with that, he rushed down the hall, to his room, and slammed the door. “Sherlock?” No answer. “ SHERLOCK?!” Still no answer .“Since when do you ever go to bed?” And then he answers, quiet but still there “ Since now." 

He lies on his bed, feeling nothing and trying not to move at all because he knows that if he does he will feel. But it is too late, and pain spreads through him like a poison, but this one only has one cure and that one cure was-John. Feeling desperate, he gets off the bed, fumbling desperately in search of his secret stash of cigarettes, but before he can get to it, he crumples like a rag doll and falls to the floor, and the last thing he remembers is John brushing the hair away from his forehead, before everything fades into blackness…….


	2. Blurry

Blurry, with a pounding head, Sherlock attempts to get off of his bed, but a general lack of coordination makes him fall back on the floor with a dull thud, startling John up. When John sees Sherlock trying to get up and leave, to no avail, he picks Sherlock up by the armpits, muttering “ back to bed”.  
Sherlock doesn’t know why Johns here, and while he knows somethings off, because John never enters Sherlock's room if not necessary, he doesn’t care, and when John gives him some form of a pill, he takes it, unwilling to look at what he knows is coming just yet.  
A few minutes later, Sherlock is feeling rather drowsy and silly but is still able to talk. In this peaceful state of tranquillity, he decides immediately to say,  
“ John.”  
His head jerks up from the chair he's dozing in, and he mumbles drowsily “Wha- everything ok?”  
“Sure, sure, one-” he pauses, thinking hard “Question?”  
“Sure, I guess….” John says, looking mildly interested at what might come out of Sherlock's mouth right now.  
“Why are you……..here? Shouldn’t you be with that woman, whats her name?” Sherlock mumbles “Marion or something.”  
“Well, originally, I wasn’t planning on kipping here for the night, actually.” Said John, starting to wake up a bit.  
“No?!” was the surprised response, that lacked its normal edge.  
“No, but you hit your head rather badly. If you need anything, I’ll be right here when you wake up.” John informed him.  
“Why would I need you?I’m not on a case now…… wait, am I?” John chuckles thinking how much Greg would like it if he filmed this.  
“ Nevermind, Sherlock. You just rest now” He says with a little post proposing euphoria, gazing a rather fondly down at the detectives' curls, which were the only thing he could see.  
Sherlock is quiet for a few minutes, and John gradually falls back asleep.  
In the darkness, Sherlock asks John “ Is my name or your name Sherlock?”  
John, who is a little grumpy at being awakened for the second time, says “ Its your name, Sherlock, now go back to bed!” John sits up again on the makeshift chair mattress he made, and right before Sherlock's eyes drift closed, he says “ I need you, John” and then starts to lightly snore, leaving John in a state of absolute bewilderment.


	3. The Aftermath

Sherlock wakes up from a stream of sunlight pouring into the room. That means John has been here, as he himself never opens the curtains, and when he sits up and looks to his left, John is asleep in a makeshift armchair mattress, head lolling to the side, making him look sweet and innocent. But then he remembers. The marriage, his head hitting the ground, and all the pain comes rushing back, worse than when he last felt it. This time, he makes no effort to stop it. He just lets himself feel the pain, watching John sleep so peacefully, tears silently streaming down his face, because despite what people think, Sherlock felt emotions, and he was certainly no stranger to heartache. He stays there for a few minutes, watching John, but then he notices a subtle change in Johns' face and realizes John was going to wake up soon. So he covers John with another blanket and goes to the bathroom to take a shower, in order to hide the no longer quiet tears now racking his body.  
After a few minutes of thinking in the shower, Sherlock realizes that John seemed genuinely happy to be with Mary, and whatever he did, Mary would now take precedence. He debates for a while about telling John but realizes that that chance is long gone. And as he stepped out of the shower, he was determined to not show John the pain he was feeling, deciding that he had already caused John enough pain.

John Pov  
When John wakes up, he sees the empty bed and starts to panic. Where did Sherlock go?! Why didn't he tell me?! But his question is answered when he hears the water running in the bathroom. He stumbles out of Sherlock's bedroom and stops to rap at the bathroom door.  
" Sherlock, you ok?"  
No answer. Copping it up to the water being too loud, causing him to be unable to hear, he ambles into the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea. A few minutes later, Sherlock walks in, wearing his maroon housecoat and look decidedly gorgeous.  
" Feeling better, are we?" Says John, looking amused  
"Just ok" is all the elaboration that John gets from him. John wonders whether to bring up what Sherlock said last night before falling asleep.Would it seem like he was thinking about it a lot, or rather too much? Would it seem like he liked him?! But another, more logical voice said: "Just ask him about things last night, but keep it casual." John cleared his throat and said " So....... are we going to talk about last night?" he mumbled, refusing to look him directly in the eye, for some reason.  
" What to say? I must have tripped over something and fell really weirdly............. I honestly don't remember much from last night"  
" So you remember absolutely nothing? At all?"  
" Nope," Sherlock replied, emphasizing the p. " Why, did something happen?" He said, looking straight at him.  
" Well you muttered some nonsense, and rather odd things for awhile, but other than that, not much" He mumbled, trying to keep eye contact, but failing miserably, letting the conversation drift into an awkward silence for John in where he picks up a newspaper to covertly hide his face. Sherlock continues to sip his tea and look out the window, pretending to be oblivious to the obvious discomfort that John is feeling.  
" You know, you didn't have to sleep in my room. I would have been fine." Sherlock says, breaking the silence.  
" I know, but you're my best friend, and I wanted to take care of you." He replies.  
"Still wasn't necessary, but.....thank you?" He said , looking a little sad.  
John looks up, surprised at this simple gesture. " Well, yeah.It wasn't a problem."  
The conversation drifts into a peaceful silence this time, where John actually reads the newspaper he's holding and sips his tea. As he finishes his tea, he glances at the clock, mildly wondering what time it is, and then with an icy shock, he realizes that he is late to meet Mary!  
"Oh Christ, I'm late" mutters John, rushing to find his jacket and get his shoes on.  
" Why are you so worried about being late? It is one of your days off from work, after all," says Sherlock, looking amused.  
" I'm going to see Mary, and I can't be late. We have an appointment with someone for the wedding," he replied quickly, shoving his left foot in his right shoe a few times before realizing his mistake.  
" Should have guessed." Was the mild reply, sounding a little weird. John was too busy to notice, however.  
" Well, i'm off. Don't even think you're getting away with looking for those cigarettes. We will discuss this.Text me if you need m- you know what? Nevermind. Bye."  
Then with a flash of a smile, John runs down the stairs to call a cab, not seeing Sherlock, one hand pressed to the window, watching him get carried away in a cab, not seeing Sherlock mouth three simple words.  
I. Love. You.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, things will get better for them! More chapter to come!


	4. Cake, Crying and Cleaning

Johns POV  
After giving the driver the address the cake bridal shop he was going to meet Mary at, along with a little extra to get him there as fast as possible, he sends a text to Mary:  
Sorry, i'm late............. alarm didn't go off. JW, and almost immediately, he heard the ping of her response.

That's ok, Husband ;) Just out of curiosity though, where were you? MM

I was at Sherlock's, but he fell really badly last night, and it didn't feel right to just leave him there alone. So I stayed the night. JW

The things you'd do for him....... MM and right after that, she says

So, have you asked him? The big question? MM  
His face pales, wondering what she meant. After all, she couldn't possibly know abou- his thought train is interrupted by an incoming text message.

Dunno how good of a best man he will be though... MM

The blood rushes back to his face, and he relaxes and sends her a response.

Not yet, but I will. JW  
Just then, the cab stopped, leaving him outside a building adorned with beautiful cakes and white flowers, saying in fancy lettering, The One. Mary is already waiting outside of the store to greet him, and they kiss and walk into the store hand in hand.

Sherlocks POV

That very same morning, Mrs Hudson comes up the stairs, beaming rather brightly and holding two cups of tea, obviously vying to talk to him, and while he is in no mood for talking, Mrs Hudson sits down in Johns chair, and immediately gushes, " Oh Sherlock, isn't it just wonderful?! John and Mary are getting married!" Sherlock sighed internally, preparing for his first attempt at normalcy with this topic. He decides on cold and indifferent, and replies " Really not that absurd, actually or important. As I have said, marriage often results in long-term health problems, as well as-"  
" Sherlock." Was the soft interruption that stopped his speech. " I know." He looks up at Mrs Hudson, who is smiling sadly at him. He slumps in his chair, tears quietly sliding down his face. Mrs Hudson gets up and wraps her arms around him, saying nothing, just gently rocking him to a peaceful sleep, one he hasn't had in a long time.

Johns POV

As soon as they walk into the bridal shop, a gracious concierge welcomes them to the shop, which smelled like a heavenly aroma of vanilla and sugar. John now realized why this place was counted expensive. It was elegant, with a touch of modern beauty. He sits down at one of the sofa tables with Mary, being told to sit there and wait for their bakers.  
Mary leans into John, looking up at him with adoring eyes. John smiles back at her, feeling light and airy. He had never seen Sherlock look like this......he wished he could. That thought stops him cold, why should he even be thinking about Sherlock at a time like this? But then he remembers. Mary. His wife was right in front of him. so he renews his smile, squeezing her hand as he does this. Then he is reminded of a question he had for Mary.  
" So listen Mary, you've never really met, what I like to call them is detective friends, you know, Sherlock, Mrs Hudson, Lestrade, Molly, Mycroft, and even Mike! After all, I have met all of your girlfriends, so it would be nice if you could come over Friday evening, and we could have dinner together, and you could meet my friends!"  
Mary doesn't say anything.There is a very pregnant pause.  
"John," she says " Have you any idea, how long I have waited for you to ask that?!" she beams, " I'd love to!"  
He breathes out a sigh of relief, and once again is so glad that he married her, even with that one little nagging thought at the back of his mind bothering him, saying rather disparaging comments. They talk for a little while longer, John teasing Mary with the provided cupcakes, because Mary is trying to fit into her wedding dress, and wants to be as fit a good looking as possible, but after a surprisingly little amount of convincing, she caves in. They are laughing so hard, they don't even notice the lady, dressed prim and proper, but with her hair in a messy bun, standing near their sofa, smiling at the affectionate scene.

" Morning!" She says trying to politely alert them to her presence. They quickly straighten up but are unable to keep from smiling.  
" My name is Jane, and I will be the assistant baker when it comes to making your cake. My partner will be here in a moment."  
Mary hesitates." When you say, partner......"  
" Oh! You thought... He's actually the lead baker. He's ancient, but when it comes to cakes, nobody can make a better cake than him." She exclaims with a laugh.  
" Call me Mary, darling and he can be John" she replies.  
" Oh can I, now?"  
" Don't worry, I approve. Now John dear, stop interrupting us, we're talking about cake." Mary sticks out her tongue at John, who rolls his eyes.  
" I can tell, this is going to be an easy couple to work with," Jane says, losing some of her professional attitude. "Now let us talk about cake!"

2 Hours later.  
When they leave the shop, about two hours later, they have two new friends, Jane, who is super sweet, and Steve, who is the main baker, about Mrs Hudson's age, and is actually pretty funny. Both of them agreed to go to the dinner on Friday, to spend the day figuring out what people like and don't like and to meet everyone since they were going to the wedding( Mostly Mycroft Forced) .Then Mary leaves, to start to get fitted for her dress,refusing to let him see it before the big day, and he is left to roam the streets of London by himself. He decides to go back to Baker Street, and see what Sherlock had gotten himself into, as well as to get a jump start on cleaning the place. After all, it was Sherlock and Johns flat and was bound to be very messy.  
Sherlocks POV  
" Hey Sherlock, I'm back! " John yells up the stairs. Sherlock runs as fast as he can to his room without making a noise, and curls under the blankets.  
" Sherlock, are you here?" yells John again. He hears John walk off and be silent, gives himself 30 seconds to compose himself, and walks out so quietly that John couldn't hear. John is rummaging through all the drawers, pulling things out and putting them back in.  
" If you want a pad of paper, there's one right over there by the mantlepiece." Sherlock says, pointing.  
" Of course you know." He walks to get it and then sits in his chair. Sherlock sits in the one opposite of it.  
" So." John clears his throat for the third time. " I was going to have a little get together of all my friends so that Mary can meet all of them, but was also hoping that you night do me the favor of actually going..." He waits with baited breath.  
" Names of people"  
" Oh um, Greg, Molly Mar-"  
"Greg?"  
"Lestrade."  
"Oh."-"  
John sighs " Mrs Hudson, Mycroft, Mike, Jane and Steve are also going. If you were wondering, the last two ar-"  
" Bakers. Obviously" He says sounding very very tired.  
" So, will you come?"  
" I will accept, but you will not put me anywhere near Mycroft. Understood?"  
" Excellent! " said John, standing up, "So I'm going to clean up so that we don't scare off anyone.  
" Oh, dull. I suppose you don't want me to keep or bring any more body parts into the fridge, yes?" Using a very sarcastic tone, and then John realizes he's serious.  
" Anym- Sherlock! I don't want any!" he cries, feeling exasperated.  
" Oh, don't be such a baby. Besides, you won't be living here much longer, being married and all." He punctuates these words with a simile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.  
" Well, I'm still here, aren't I?" John replies, trying to break this weird tension. " So, no more body parts in the fridge. At least, not until Friday after everyone's left"  
" Alright..." Going over to the fridge, Sherlock tosses all of the parts in the trash and then takes the trash out.He returns, looking very disappointed at this loss. This is the last Sherlock says that day, for he goes to his room afterwards and is stuck in his mind palace for a long, long time.


	5. Sweet memories , Soap, and Soulfuness

Sherlocks POV  
Around 1, after John had gone to Tesco to buy groceries for tomorrows dinner, because Mrs Hudson refused to cook the dinner if John didn't go out and buy them, insisting that she was not their housekeeper, so he had dutifully gone to buy the groceries. Molly came over to visit (presumably to visit John, but Sherlock supposed an ulterior motive) but obviously she stayed to talk to Sherlock anyways.  
" So how you doing? You in on any wedding plans?" she asks cautiously.  
" Is there a reason for your attempting a conversation with me, or are you merely trying to be friendly?"  
" Just- friendly, I suppose."  
" And......."  
Awkward silence  
" Well, I just wanted to see how you're getting on, and well, maybe to see whether you'd fancy a cup of co-"  
"Molly. there's only one person I'll ever love." Was the surprisingly kind but firm reply.  
A tear slips down her cheek." But I don't understand! I get you special things from the morgue, I- I offer up my help at any time, I'm always there for you-" Her voice broke. They are both quiet for a moment.  
"It's John, isn't it?"  
" How-how exactly does everyone know? It's not like I told anybody."  
Molly gave a watery chuckle." You look- I don't know, different I guess. Like the world could fall apart, and you wouldn't notice, as long a John was there."  
" That's, that's rather unexpected." There is another very stressful pause. Molly gets up from her chair, saying " This has been awkward enough. I'm going to get going." She gets all the way to the door before Sherlock calls " Molly. wait." She turns around sharply, her eyes overbright, and says "Yes?"  
" This is really weird, but I wanted you to know that even if I wouldn't count you as more than friends, I value you very highly as a friend."  
" Thanks," she replies, her eyes softening " Do you really mean that?" she says, her eye darting to his face hopefully.  
" Well, yes. And I was wondering if you'd want to do something together today, like maybe cleaning the flat?"  
" Really?"  
" Isn't that what friends do? Clean up each other's messes?"  
Molly laughs. " Sure."  
~  
Johns POV  
John walks to the Tesco near their flat, grabs a cart ( There are an awful lot of things on that list) and starts roaming the aisles, trying to find cream of tartar, whatever that was.......... the cart is almost completely full when he gets to the last item, which is a chai tea blend is his favorite tea. Out of the blue, he remembers this time with Sherlock  
_" John. I have a question for you." Sherlock says, looking very serious._  
_" Yes" John answered, feeling a little bit hesitant._  
_John burst out laughing, at how serious Sherlock was acting about such a little thing. Sherlock tries to get angry about it but gradually starts to laugh too a low, smooth sound._

John gets back to their flat holding 5 bags of groceries. He struggles up the stairs, and when he has dumped the things he got on the landing, he hears Sherlock say, " I do not understand. Why should anyone care about the skull on the mantelpiece?" and John, is surprised to hear Molly, of all people, reply "It's in your room, and its gonna stay there." "  
"Or?""  
"Or else, I'll tell him you like him!"  
"You wouldn-" Sherlock and Moly freeze, seeing John. "  
\"Tell who what?" he demands. Molly breaks into silently suppressed giggles. " No matter," Sherlock replies cooly, barely glancing at John. " Really?" Sherlock replies " You wouldn't know him anyways." , before sweeping into the other room, acting very childish in Johns opinion. John looks at Molly, expecting help, or at least an explanation, but shes to distracted to try and help him.</p> <p>"Molly, could you come teach me how to clean the kitchen? I've never done this before."  
"You're cleaning?!""  
"Yes, John. I thought that perfectly clear," he yells from the kitchen. He walks into the other room to see Molly handing Sherlock a sponge. " And what do you suppose, am I to do with this?" He questions, looking puzzled."  
" Clean the dishes and all of your lab equipment. Then you will take out all of the cabinets dishes, and clean those too. I'll be in charge of drying.Don't give me that look! You promised."  
"Fine. John, you might want to start cleaning the living room. We haven't got much time.""  
"Wha- Oh right, yeah." John, throughout cleaning the whole living room, was rather distracted. He felt a hot burning sensation, trying to figure out who the " He" was, and how that person was able to get Sherlock to do something he'd pretty much never do."  
A few hours later, they finally let John back in the kitchen. His jaw drops. It is completely different. All of Sherlocks Lab equipment is tucked neatly into a corner, stacked and everything. The counter was clear of everything except the groceries, and the table, which was usually covered in Sherlocks various experiments, was covered in a checkered tablecloth. Everything was spotless.  
"Who are you, and what have you done with Sherlock Holmes?"  
"Nothing. Not even sure what that means."  
" Nevermind." John sighs. The living room to has been transformed, and now looks livable ( Enough for now). " So, Sherlock, you want to get a bite to eat?" John asks, trying to fill the silence.  
"Sure, Molly, want to come?"  
"Do you need something from me?"  
"No-we're doing friends activities."  
Silence.  
" Never saying that again."  
Molly breaks the silence. " I'll go." John looks between them, not understanding at all what is happening, and then goes and calls a cab. That evening, at dinner, things become even weirder. Molly and John eat their meals, while Sherlock plays around with his food. Molly keeps laughing, and glancing between the two of them, seeing Sherlock mumble something, have John ask "What?", and have Molly continue laughing. John says, with a bemused look on his face " I'm missing something, aren't I?"  
"Yes, yes yo-"  
"Nope, you aren't" Molly finishes, interrupting and half glaring at Sherlock. "Now, shall we get the bill?"  
When they got back, Sherlock and Molly continue cleaning the living room, which consisted of shoving a lot of papers and books into neat stacks that then went into Sherlock's room, and buying a bookcase( With Mycroft's help). Molly then went back to her place, brought a couple of pillows and blankets, and then, to Sherlock's horror, she dusted. By the end of the evening, Molly, John, and Sherlock were all exhausted. " Molly, you can sleep on the couch, and use the pillows and blankets that you brought as warmth, along with a sheet or two. It's too long of a walk home, isn't it, John?"  
" Well...." John starts, wanting to talk to Sherlock a bit in private, but not wanting to be rude, either.  
" Excellent. Molly, you don't need to worry about not have your phone. I will play music on my violin, in exchange for your sleep music. I was going to anyways"  
"How did you-" " Easy. You have a high-stress job, coupled with early life drama, leads you to have a therapist, obviously, who has noticed your nervous disposition. Result- a recommendation to listen to relaxing music before bed." Sherlock starts to play a peaceful melody, looking out at the bright lights of the city, which illuminates his face, while John helps make the couch passable for sleeping on. He falls asleep, listening to the soothing tones of Sherlock's violin.  


**Author's Note:**

> More chapters to come!


End file.
